I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.

Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.

I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life.

I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.

I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the "Girlfriend in a Coma" is, like, really funny.

Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.