I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'

That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.

I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, "What the hell is this? This person's happy!" You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.

I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.

Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.

People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.

I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.