I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'

You write things that are of interest to you. There's no focus group.

I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole."

My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.

It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me'. Being popular is poison.

I don't know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.

I haven't been hit since Leon Spinks hit me in '92.