I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'

When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.

When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically.

You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.

When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, "Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.

I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.

I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that.