I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.

I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'

I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy.

My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.

Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.