The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says "Forever."

I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.

I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.

You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.

I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster.

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the "Girlfriend in a Coma" is, like, really funny.

I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that.