I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.

I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.

My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.

I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, "What the hell is this? This person's happy!" You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.

I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.