You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

I am not into publicity. I'm not good at it. I get anxiety about it.

I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.

Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.

My comfort zone is press conferences.

I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.