I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.

My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.

Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.

If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.

I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.

I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.

My forte is awkwardness.