I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.

I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'

You write things that are of interest to you. There's no focus group.

I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.

I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.

I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, "What the hell is this? This person's happy!" You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.

At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?