I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.

I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.

You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.

People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.

I don't know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.

Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.