You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.

When I do stand-up for a long time, I'll get burned out, then I'll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I'd like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I've written. That's what I'm trying to do now, just write smaller movies.

I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.

I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese.

I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.

I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing.