My real last name is Galifianakisburg.

I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.

I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.

When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.

I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of my face is rage.

As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.

I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.