I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.

I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.

My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.

I call my balls the bush twins.

My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.

I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.

Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.