You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.

I'm proud of The Hangover, but to be in movies like this, which are really the only places I can get work, it's really quite the opposite of what I am. I like sensitive art-house movies. I'm not even much of a partier. I mean, I'll drink myself into oblivion alone in my car.

I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.

But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.

When I do stand-up for a long time, I'll get burned out, then I'll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I'd like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I've written. That's what I'm trying to do now, just write smaller movies.