Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?

Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"

I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.

Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.

My forte is awkwardness.

I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.

I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something.