I wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant. Whatever it's called. But you just take what's given and then, hopefully, down the road you can be more choosy and only do, say, Wayans brothers movies. That's my goal: to be more Merchant-Ivory-Wayans.

I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'

I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole."

Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs.

I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing.

You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.