The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.

I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.

You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.

When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, "Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.

There was a long time where I was an "artist" in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.