I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do.

Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'

When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, "Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.

My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole."

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the "Girlfriend in a Coma" is, like, really funny.