I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do.

My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings.

Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'

Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?

When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically.

There was a long time where I was an "artist" in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.

But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.