As a woman, you have to choose between your fanny or your face. I chose my face.

If I would believe what I read about myself, I would hate my guts too.

My husband said it was him or the cat. I miss him sometimes.

I always said marriage should be a fifty-fifty proposition. He should be at least fifty years old, and have at least fifty-million dollars.

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.

Sex is good for about two years, and then you need love.

What I call loaded, I'm not. What other people call loaded I am.