My husband said it was him or the cat. I miss him sometimes.

I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.

I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names.

I'm a great housekeeper. I get divorced. I keep the house.

I learned in school that money isn’t everything. It’s happiness that counts. So momma sent me to a different school.

If I would believe what I read about myself, I would hate my guts too.

I've been married most of my life. And when you're married, you don't have sex.