I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

There are certain things women are better at than men.

My motto is "more mystery, less history".

I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.

I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.