Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.