Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

I'd never hurt another person.

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!