All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

I get depressed at airports.

I am not a good cue card reader.

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

Welfare is monetary methadone.