The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.