I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

I'm a comedian, not a politician.

I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.