I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

I'd never hurt another person.

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.