Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.