As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They're the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math. If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife's side of the bed at night. If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.