He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.

It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.