Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
I'd never hurt another person.