Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.