If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.

When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.

I don't know anything about computers.

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.