I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.

I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.