I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.