If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
Adam CarollaI have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
Adam CarollaWhen you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldnโt imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If Iโm gone for six days it feels like too much.
Adam CarollaWell, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
Adam CarollaIn my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make moneyโฆ and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasnโt very good at it.
Adam CarollaThe reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, "Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome."
Adam Carolla