If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.

I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.