The Canteen Boy, the reason you feel bad for him and you can laugh is because he, and I guess a lot of my characters, they don't notice they're getting made fun of. So they'll say something back that's not that great a quip, but in their mind they won the argument.

Sitting in a room being forced to listen to 'The Chanukah Song' over and over." [on his idea of Hell]

If it's something I feel I can do alright, I like being in those, and some that I think Rob Schneider and David Spade would be funnier at than me, I tell them to do it. I don't have any clue how we decide. There's this thing, this "Click", actually, one of my friends called me up, my partner told me about this idea that Steve Koren had. Steve Koren, by the way, the guy who wrote it with Mark O'Keefe, Steve Koren I've known since I was 22. He was a page at Saturday Night Live.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

I wasn't a kid growing up thinking, 'One day I'll get an Oscar and make a speech.' That wasn't on my mind.

I read to my kid, but I can't stand reading.

I think the reason I don't read is because, when I'm reading, I feel like I'm missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where's my girlfriend?