Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

When I'm up there, and I know the show's coming to a close, in my head I'm saying to myself, Oh man, you gotta get off and be a normal person again. That's what I don't like so much.

A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I've always worked hard.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

You know, when you don't go on TV and talk about how many women you sleep with, some people in Hollywood, that are supposedly 'in the know,' start whispering that you're gay. If I were gay, I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not.

I read to my kid, but I can't stand reading.

It's nice when little teams win.