If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not 'cause I hate her so much as it's just easier for when my friends go, 'Hey, what happened?' 'Oh, she's dead. I'd still be with her, but she's dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she's dead.'

Sitting in a room being forced to listen to 'The Chanukah Song' over and over." [on his idea of Hell]

I've always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B'nai B'rith at our house.

I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.

I'm 31 now. I think I'm beginning to understand what life is, what romance is, and what a relationship means.

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.

Girls are soft and pretty.