Some of us will never ever find true love. Take, for instance me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine.

I read to my kid, but I can't stand reading.

I was a big fan of Kurt Russell growing up and I always wanted to be the modern day Kurt Russell.

I grew up cursing a lot. It felt natural. My parents told me to stop.

Kids end up seeing my movies anyway but some of the mothers get mad at me so I figured I'd make one that I can't get yelled at for.

My kids don't have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. And when I die, they're $4 million in the hole.

I grew up in a house that liked to be funny. Everybody liked to be funny. My family's been...we've been enjoying each other's comedy for years.