Some of us will never ever find true love. Take, for instance me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine.

Me and Fred Wolf wrote the movie [ Grown Ups]. The whole idea was about putting together old friends that get to hang out for a weekend.

I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.

I grew up cursing a lot.

I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.

When I do stand-up shows at colleges, girls will talk to me after the show, and that always feels good. I like talking to them.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don't know if I'll ever be as good a dad as my dad.