My father used to wear the same pants for like a week.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

My grandmother used to embarrass me more, when she would pick me up from school wearing a big fuzzy hat. I didn't like that.

I grew up cursing a lot. It felt natural. My parents told me to stop.

I go to sleep thinking about my kids being spoiled and I wake up thinking about it.

In one day, I have times where I'm feeling great, I feel like I love my life, and then 2:30 rolls around and I'm the angriest man alive. My wife sees it.