Girls are soft and pretty.

I think I'm playing grown up because I have kids now. But I don't feel grown up yet.

I've always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B'nai B'rith at our house.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises' manhood. It was like, I can be strong, too!

My father used to wear the same pants for like a week.

Some of us will never ever find true love. Take, for instance me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine.