Exercise your imagination muscle! How many uses can you come up with for a flowerpot? Write down your answers. But don't write them in this book. Grab a separate sheet of paper. I didn't spend two and a half weeks writing a book just so you could mark up the pages with your silly ideas for things you can do with a flowerpot. When it comes down to it, what's wrong with a flowerpot not being a flowerpot? Why is nothing ever good enough for you?

I like to make things, but I looked at old craft books on weaving or mosaics or whatever, I'm like, 'I don't really know anything about that stuff.'

I love old cookbooks. I just got such a kick out of them, how the color would be way off or fake looking. The cook books now look so much like magazines, you'll never make food that looks like that. I'd rather see it the ugly way than they way they do it now.

Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.

If I put my mind to something, it happens. I do know that's not necessarily psychic. But I always feel like there's something around me protecting me.

I like to be around entertaining people. Even if they're bored, and you're in a convalescent home, there's something entertaining about that, in a way.

Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.