Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.

Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.

We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.

If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them