Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.

Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'

Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.