It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.
Andy BorowitzEvery week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
Andy BorowitzThe only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
Andy BorowitzGive a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.
Andy Borowitz