Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.

Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.