On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
Andy BorowitzRemember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.
Andy BorowitzUS Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.
Andy BorowitzThe Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps; and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.
Andy Borowitz