A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.

It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.