A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.

The real news has gotten more surreal and absurd, and my fake news, if you want to call it that, has gotten more plausible. And at some point, those two trend lines crossed.

Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.