Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.

Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.

It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.