Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps; and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.