Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
Andy BorowitzJohn Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.
Andy BorowitzThe only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
Andy BorowitzIf Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.
Andy Borowitz