If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.
Andy BorowitzUS Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.
Andy BorowitzIt used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.
Andy BorowitzCongress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
Andy Borowitz