Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

Let's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads.

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.

Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.