Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.

Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps; and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.

Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.

Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental health care was as easy to get as, say, a gun.