Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.

You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.

Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.